Evil French Fries
by The Fellow Marauder
Summary: Redone and reposted. All the characters in YYH crave french fries and try to eat them. However, the french fries have another thing planned and they retaliate. Stupid little story, but was popular before. Please R&R! First chappie is Hiei.
1. Hiei Wants French Fries

This is a story I wrote a while back and it got a lot of support and love. Why is anyone's guess. To this day, I still have no idea. But I decided to repost it and see if my popularity for this story will rise or fall. Let's just call it my stupid little science experiment because I am bored okay? Anyway, the first chapter was erased on my mother's computer and had to be re-written. I only mention this in case people re-read this and think there's something different: there is.

Please review! If you reviewed the first time it was posted, REVIEW AGAIN! Arigatou goziamasu!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of YYH or any other anime. I just wish I did.

Evil French Fries Take One: Hiei Wants French Fries.

One day, Hiei and Youko were in Hiei's home and they were watching TV. Youko was sitting back in his recliner, relaxing. Hiei was sitting on the floor, bored out of his mind. Suddenly, there was a giant rumbling throughout the house and Youko glared over at the little fire demon. Hiei's face was flushed with slight embarrassment. "I'm hungry." He said; rather unnecessary the comment was, since the loud growling had said it all. Getting up, Hiei skipped into the kitchen to look for something to eat.

Opening the refirdgerator, he looked inside. A poof of grew smoke emmitted from the freezer as he opened it. He jumped back and pulled out his sword, ready to strike. But all he found inside was a pair of frozen socks. With a disgusted look on his face, he turned his head towards the livingroom and yelled, "Youko! Did you have to freeze your socks again?!"

"Those aren't mine! They're Yusuke's!" Making another disgusted face, Hiei tried to avoid getting any closer to them and ignore their existance as he looked in the freezer for something to eat. There was nothing. Bags of empty food were strewn throughout the freezer to give off the appearance that they had food, but they were really straving. Broccolli, spinach puffs, corn, strawberries, and more were in the freezer with nothing inside them but mocking walls of whiteness. Hiei began to twitch.

"Everything is gone!" He cried in mortal agony. "Why? WHY? Yusuke ate it ALL?" Hiei then removed another bag from the freezer. "The Egg Rolls!? I was saving those!" He grumbled. After everything had been removed except Yusuke's frozen socks, there was one solitary bag hidden in back of the freezer. Not having much faith in finding anything in it, he reached back and set himself up for disappointment. But he did not have to be diasppointed. "FOOD!" Hiei cried, delighted. Smiling from ear to ear, the fire demon jumped down from the stool he was standing on and he danced around the kitchen happily. "French fries! Yes! I found some french fries! I found some french fries!" Skipping ocver to the oven, he preheated it and baked the french fries.

Half hour later, when the french fries were done, he then placed them all on a plate, piled ketchup on top and walked back into the livingroom. He sat down, still happy, onto the floor. There, he picked one up and began to eat. Before he could bring the french frie to his mouth however, and eat it, there was a low murmer from the vicinity of his plate. Hiei lowered the french fry from his lip and looked around him, confused. Youko looked at his little demon pet from the corner of his eye and he raised his eyebrows slightly. After Hiei waited several moments, he decided that the murmer had all been in his head. Shrugging it off, he raised the french fry to his lips again. He heard the low murmer again and he could not be sure, but he thought he could make out a few words. "Do... eat..." Looking around suspiciously again, he shrugged, deciding it was nothing quicker this time.

"Eat? Of course I will." He raised the fry to his lips again and the voice was louder this time.

"DO NOT EAT US!" It screamed. "DIE EVIL FIEND!" Hiei looked down in his lap and saw that the french fries were chanting. "Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us!" As they chanted demonically, they also advanced on him. "Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend!" They then all attacked Hiei.

TBC.

That was dumber than the original. -.- Gomen. PLEASE REVIEW!


	2. Like Father, Like Daughter

Disclaimer:same as first chapter... whatever that disclaimer was. 

Like Father, Like Daughter. By: Shuuichi's Kindred Spirit

Sakamae was aimlessly wandering through the house when something overcame her. She clutched her stomach and fell to her knees as the sound of her stomach growling echoed throughout the quiet house. "What was that?" Hiei called from the livingroom.

"N--nothing!" Sakamae replied in haste, a bit embarassed. She then stood up and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. She opened the freezer. In doing so, a brief cloud of grey smoke ingulfed her. She coughed and waved her hand infront of her face as to drive away the horrible smell and smoke. When she saw what had caused the smoke, she made a disgusted face. "DAD!" She called, whining. "You left your socks in the freezer AGAIN?!"

"That wasn't me!" He called back. "That was probably Yusuke!" Gagging and covering her nose with one hand, Sakamae reached into the freezer and cautiously removed the vile-entity-known-as-Yusuke's-smelly-socks and threw them in the trash. Gagging once again to show her great disgust, Sakamae then walked back to the freezer in search for something to eat, She went for the icecream. All gone. She sighed heavily.

"Urameshi." She tossed the empty box into the trash. Reaching back into the freezer, she picked up the HotPockets. Again, they were gone. The sno-cones, the frozen easter eggs, even the brocolli! IT WAS ALL GONE! "That human sure does eat a lot." Sakamae sighed. Everything was now emptied from the refrigerator. Sakamae was about to close the door when her eye caught something hidden in the back. Curious, she reached back and retrieved... a hot dog bag. Empty. Sakamae was beginning to get impatient. "Jeez! Even the HOT DOGS!" She was about to throw it over her head and toss it, when she remembered something. She looked at the hot dog bag and studied it before calling to her father,

"Dad! Urameshi's allergic to hot dogs! So where did they all go?"

"Zell ate them!" Hiei replied back. ((side note: teehee I love putting Zelly randomly in things. And he WAS in the first chapter... )). Sakamae sighed in disgust. Her hunger was only growing and the supply of food was dwindling.

But then, Sakamae's eyes fell on ONE more thing left in the back of the freezer; hidden from sight. A smile broke out across her face. "Mmm... french fries." She reached back, took out the bag of french fries and was happy to find that there was still some left. Skipping over to the oven, she preheated it and waited to bake her french fries. Before she did, she called to her father,

"Hey, dad! I found some french fries! Do you want any?"

In his seat in the livingroom, something from what his daughter had said triggered deep within the bowels of Hiei's mind. "French fries? He mumbled. "French fries?" He sat there and thought about what it could mean, until he shrugged and gave up. "Must not be anything."

Half an hour later, when Sakamae's french fries were done, she smiled and pulled them out of the oven. Closing her eyes and savoring the sweet aroma that was french fries, she placed the cooking sheet down on top of the oven and went to get a plate. As she piled french fries on her plate, she smiled and hummed to herself. When she was done piling on french fries and ketchup, she held her plate and skipped into the livingroom to be with her father. "Yum..." She said happily as she sat down. Hiei glanced over and was happy to see his daughter smiling; until he saw the french fries. The memory then flew at him and he remembered.

"Sakamae! NOOOO!!!!!"

Sakamae looked up curiously. "What is it, dad?" But then the food in Sakamae's lap began to chant. Slowly and quietly at first but soon getting louder and faster...

"Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend!" The french fries all attacked.

"SAKAMAE!!!!!!!!!!!" Hiei screamed.

Heehee. You like? Sakamae is my own character and my favorite of my created characters. She is Hiei's daughter. So the title fits. While writing this, I thought it'd be kinda funny to do a whole stupid saga of attacking food. But shrugs that's just me. It's been too much sugar, not enough sleep, too much spiked punch ((inside joke)) and too many french fries. PLEASE R&R!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Youko at Mickey D's

"Hello. Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order?"

Youko looked at the cheery-but-acne-faced McDonald's worker. This was the epitomy of evil and dorkiness.

"Uhm..." Youko said slowly, looking at the order window above the counter. "Can I have... a large fry, a cheeseburger Happy Meal and a small shake?" Hiei and Sakamae were jumping up and down around Youko. They were hyped up on Pixie Stix sugar. Youko tried to ignore them, but his eyebrow twitched.

"HAPPY MEALS! HAPPY MEALS! HAPPY MEALS!" They said together, having their hands intertwined and jumping around like little kids, giggling. That was when Youko got mad.

"MATSU(stop)!" He screamed. Hiei and Sakamae went and did it anyway. Turning back to the acne-faced teen Mickey D's worker, he said, "Make that _two_ happy meals..." His eyebrow twitched again.

"Very well, sir." The boy said. "And... what would you like to drink with those two happy meals? Soda? Pepsi?"

"SODA! SODA! RAH-RAH-RAH!" Sakamae and Hiei cheered.

"Make that water." Youko replied. "Anything with_out_ sugar or caffiene."

"WE WANT SODA! WE WANT SODA!" The two immature demons chanted. Growling, Youko gave in just to shut them up.

"Fine! Make that two sodas!"

"Uh... what kind, sir?"

"What?" Youko was getting very pissed.

"What kind of soda? Pepsi? Mug? Barqs? Coke? Sprite?"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!" Youko yelled, scaring the acne-faced teenage boy out of his wits.

"Okay, sir..." He said slowly and a little cautiously, trying not to anger Youko any more. "That'll be... $12.70 at your next window."

"What window?" Youko asked for, undoubtedly, he was inside.

"Your next window. Please drive up."

"WE'RE INSIDE THIS FREAKING PLACE!" Youko yelled (and, just in case anyone is wondering, Sakamae and Hiei were still dancing and chanting around Youko).

"No need to shout, sir..." The kid said, rolling his eyes and sighing in disgust muttering, "Rude." Under his breath. Youko twitched. The cute-anime-anger-doodles popped up. "That's $15.92, sir."

"WHAT! Just a second ago it was $12.70!"

"I am sorry, but you are mistaken." The boy said. He held out his palm and said calmly, as though speaking to a little child, "Now that is $30.48. If you do not give me the money for your food, you will not receive your food, and you will be asked to leave the premesis immediately."

More cute-anime-anger-doodles. Youko was fed up. He reached across the counter and grabbed the idiot-boy by the collar. "Listen," He said dangerously, his eyes red like Hitokiri Botousai. "You actually tell me the right amount and give me my food, or I will kill everyone in this place. Starting with you. Got that!"

"Yes sir..." The man gasped. "How about... it's on the house?" Fear was in his eyes.

"Good." Youko said, finally satisfied. He let the boy go and then moved to the side dragging Sakamae and Hiei, waiting for their food. When they received it, they all went to find a booth and they sat down to eat. Youko was the only one who actually ate. Sakamae and Hiei had gotten diranged Pokemon toys in their Happy Meals and they sat there, trying to kill them. Youko tried to remain calm.

Everything was more-or-less fine until Youko came to the french fries. He picked one up and was about to put it in his mouth when he heard a faint whisper. Knowing it could not come from Hiei or Sakamae because the voice was _quiet_, he looked around. Nothing happened. Shrugging, he once again lifted the french fry to his lips. Right before he bit into it, he heard another whisper; but just a tad louder this time. Youko looked around, confused. Shrugging again, he started to eat, but then he heard it. Loud and clear. "Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend!" He looked down at his hand and he saw the french fry was talking to him. The other french fries then stood up and united with the one in Youko's hand. Advancing slowly towards Youko, they said, "Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend!" Youko tried to back away but... exactly how successful is that when you're in a BOOTH? The french fries attacked him, all along chanting, "Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend!"

END!

Ending notes from a stupid cat: Like? I think this one is my favorite of all. Bet everyone disagrees, though. I couldn't resist making more than the necessary amount of fun towards McDonald's. But who can blame me for that? R&R!


	4. Kuwabara Gets Killed by the Evil French ...

Kuwabara was hungry. Whining, he said, "Shizuru! Get me some food!" He waited, but nothing happened. "SHIZURU!" He yelled again. Again, nothing. Sighing in disgust, he went into the kitchen to get his own food. He grumbled and complained. "Why can't anyone do me a favor once in a while, huh?" He muttered. With his hands in his pockets, he approached the freezer. Upon opening it, his mouth dropped. "WHAT? NO FOOD!" He opened the refrigerator, hoping to find different results. He found the same thing. No food. Rushing to the cabinets, he threw them open. No food. Pantry? No food. NOTHING! Kuwabara fell to his knees on the floor.

"WHY!" He exclaimed (needless to say, overdramatically). "I'm so hungry! I just want some food!" His eyes then spotted a note that was on the table. He crawled over on his knees and then picked it up. He read:

'Kazuma: I am spending the weekend with Keiko. Find yourself your own food. --Shizuru'

"Zuru..." Kuwabara whined, slumping on the floor. He decided to sit there until Shizuru came back, or food magically appeared.

Neither of the two happened. And Kuwabara was getting hungrier. So, going to his room, he pocketed some yen and left to the nearest store in search. All the way, he grumbled to himself. "Stupid Shizuru. Off to spend the weekend with her girlfriend. She could have at LEAST bought me something to eat before she left." But there was nothing the idiot and freak of the show could do about it. Except bitch and complain.

In the store, Kuwabara walked down the aisles. He was not in the mood for anything sweet, or anything meaty. After searching through the asiles and the selection of food, he realized that the only thing he really wanted to eat was french fries. Thus, he made his way to the frozen foods section and grabbed a bag. After purchasing them, he went home and preheated his oven to cook them.

Half hour later, they were done. Happy that he was finally going to subside his craving hunger at last, Kuwabara took the french fries out of the oven and transfered the golden morsels to a plate that had a picture of Jafar(see "Aladdin") on it. Then, pouring ketchup on them, he made his way to the livingroom to eat them.

Right when he was about to, though, the french fries attacked. Screaming and chanting the infamous words that have come to be somewhat popular in this ridiculous story, "Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend! Do not eat us! Die, evil fiend!" The french fries started to bite at Kuwabara. Some flew up his nose, a fistful rushed to his mouth so his mouth was plugged. Others wiped ketchup on his eyes. Kuwabara howled. Some clogged up his ears, others stained the front of his shirt. They attacked, mutilated, destoryed, defiled... anyway you want to put it, the french fries ended up killing Kuwabara.

Later at the crime scene investigation, Lennie Briscoe and Ed Green (the homicide detectives from 'Law and Order'!) were at Kuwabara's house. "What have we got here?" Ed asked the EMT. The EMT knelt down beside Kuwabara's dead body laying on the floor.

"Looks like a horrible death. It's strange, though. We can't find the cause of what killed him."

"Look Lennie," Ed said, gesturing to the french fries all over the floor with his shoes. "French fries. Looks like he must have been eating them."

"Gives new meaning to the phrase 'last meal'." Lennie cracked.

Sorry about the L&O crossover. I love Lennie and Ed... I hope you liked it! And even if you didn't, I have to say this: I NEEDED SOME WAY FOR KUWA TO DIE! He HAD to! Laters!


End file.
